Miranda Cosgrove without any argument played two of the most iconic female characters in our childhood, but as it turns out her smile on screen hid a lot of pain.

The iCarly star says that being a child star wasn’t always a walk in the park and that there was a lot of pressure being a star at such a young age. “For sure there was pressure,” says Cosgrove now 29, looking back at her childhood. Even when you’re not on TV or acting or anything, just growing up, there’s a lot of pressure to try to figure so many things out.”

“When I was younger, I would go through and kind of ignore all the nice comments and look for the one mean one,” she explained “I would be going through for a while and be like, ‘Oh, found it!’”

Miranda then goes on to explain that enrolling college helped her find a sense of normalcy “My whole life changed, but it was awesome. I made a lot of friends and I got to just take classes that I was interested in. I tried photography and I ended up majoring in psychology and it was just a really solid, good experience,”